有些人一生都在情與緣的世界之中兜兜轉轉，
尋找這個世界的愛情，
漫長的歲月，都虛耗在男女之間的愛情之上。
他們認為幸福就是兩個互相深愛的人生活在一起。
至於朋友、政治、智慧、和事業等等，都比不上愛情重要。
只要擁有一份真摯的愛情或者浪漫的激情，
讓生命每一刻都充滿在愛與被愛的幸福之中，
才是最有意義的一生。
然而優良的情侶關係關乎兩大要素：
雙方「人的質素」和雙方「性格的配合」；
優良的情侶關係需要雙方都在同一善性循環中徘徊，
換言之，就是需要雙方都是追求「道/真理/智慧」，
都是努力不斷地提升個人的質素的人。
Toni Morrison 的小說《Song of Solomon》中有一段說話，
雖然是對女孩子說的，但對初入情場的男女都適合：
You think because he doesn’t love you
that you are worthless. You think that
because he doesn’t want you anymore
that he is right──that his judgement
and opinion of you are correct.
If he throws you out, then you are garbage.
You think he belongs to you because
you want to belong to him. Don’t.
It’s a bad word, ‘belong.’ Especially when
you put it with somebody you love.
Love shouldn’t be like that. Did you ever
see the way the clouds love a mountain？
They circle all around it; sometimes you
can’t even see the mountain for the clouds.
But you know what？
You go up top and what do you see？
His head. The clouds never cover the head.
His head pokes through,
because the clouds let him;
they don’t wrap him up.
They let him keep his head up high, free,
with nothing to hide him or bind him.
You can’t own a human being.
You can’t lose what you don’t own.
Suppose you did own him.
Could you really love somebody
who was absolutely nobody without you？
You really want somebody like that？
Somebody who falls apart when you
walk out the door？ You don’t, do you？
And neither does he. You’re turning over
your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl.
And if it means so little to you that
you can just give it away, hand it to him,
then why should it mean any more to him？
He can’t value you more than you value yourself.
( Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon )
Carolina Ramirez
《Adoro》
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMpHOHdHj6Y
《Echame a mi la Culpa》
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akMZGWZUZwU
大部份人從愛情中所得到的快樂，
在乎「慾」、在乎「交易」中佔便宜、
在乎「佔有」中行使權力；
「愛」是賠本的生意，怎會放在眼內！
所以一般人世間的婚姻，無論如何多采多姿，
往往有「情」、有「慾」、有「交易」、有「佔有」，
但未必有「愛」。
音樂界的填詞人常常會把這些
「愛、情、激情、慾、交易、佔有」的概念混淆在一起，
影響了不少一代又一代的青年人。
[理想的愛情]
理想的愛情當然是「相愛」！
「相愛」需要在善性循環中徘徊的雙方在心靈方面的溝通；
「相愛」的人，沒有任何一方會阻礙對方在心靈上的成長。
Your soul is in your heart.
So if I say ‘love me with all your heart’,
it can only mean ‘let our souls merge and
grow together’.
( Jason Ling )
「激情」，似乎不必雙方深入認識，就可以發生感情；
「情」，需要生活習慣方面的溝通，才能日久生情；
「慾」，需要性器官方面的溝通，如人飲水，冷暖自知；
「交易」，也許需要討價還價，衡量得失；
「佔有」，只需要一個大男人或者一個大女人，
一方面是否死咬著不放，是否用完即棄，
還是用到殘之後才棄之如履，往往由單方面去決定。
最常見的「佔有」徵狀，就是不能容忍對方比自己聰明，
至於「情」和「慾」方面的不能容忍，
在年輕時可能只是生物遺傳方面的問題。
用政治的語言來說，理想的愛情要有「三通」：
心靈方面的溝通、性生活方面的溝通、生活習慣方面的溝通。
沒有「交易」、沒有「佔有」、不用承諾。
The wondrous moment of our meeting…
Still I remember you appear
Before me like a vision fleeting,
A beauty’s angel pure and clear.
In hopeless ennui surrounding
The worldly bustle, to my ear
For long your tender voice kept sounding,
For long in dreams came features dear.
Time passed. Unruly storms confounded
Old dreams, and I from year to year
Forgot how tender you had sounded,
Your heavenly features once so dear.
My backwoods days dragged slow and quiet─
Dull fence around, dark vault above─
Devoid of God and uninspired,
Devoid of tears, of fire, of love.
Sleep from my soul began retreating,
And here you once again appear
Before me like a vision fleeting,
A beauty’s angel pure and clear.
In ecstasy my heart is beating,
Old joys for it anew revive;
Inspired and God-filled, it is greeting
The fire, and tears, and love alive.
( Alexander Pushkin )
願天下有情人終成眷屬，而且每天相愛多一些，佔有少一些。
在天願為比翼鳥，在地願為連理枝！
The nature of our love determines
the nature of our life and in fact
our entire nature as a human being.
( Emanuel Swedenborg )
The more you understand, the more you love;
the more you love, the more you understand.
They are two sides of one reality.
The mind of love and the mind of understanding
are the same.
( Thich Nhat Hanh )
Tracy McMillan
The person you really need to marry
還有一點非常重要，但許多愛情專家都未必懂得，
所以往往會忽略的，就是紫微斗數在男女愛情上的應用。
有些男士命坐孤辰，又沒有鸞喜同宮，
有些女士命坐寡宿，又沒有鸞喜同宮，
他們都習慣孤獨，非常抗拒被人管束，
所以根本就不需要和異性談戀愛，
但這種星象完全不礙於他們結交異性朋友。